


At Dusk, I Will Think Of You

by mostlyharmless



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Universe, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Introspection, Post-KH3D, Sharing a Body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-15 23:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3466397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlyharmless/pseuds/mostlyharmless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riku and Sora might have saved the day yet again, but there are still a lot of loose threads, and nobody (heh) is feeling it more than Lea right now. (Well, Axel. Well... maybe both of them.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Dusk, I Will Think Of You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [feelingvictory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/feelingvictory/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Consolation Prize](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/100925) by thisgildedworld. 



A red-headed man dangled his feet over the edge of the Mysterious Tower's balcony, looking out at the swatches of orange and blue along the horizon. He pulled a white envelope out of his pocket and flipped it over in his hands, inspecting the wear and tear of having been opened one too many times.

_/What are we going to do about Isa, Axel?/_

His hands slackened.

_That's not Isa, you know. Not any more._

The tired thought in the back of his mind went quiet.

They'd been coming ever since he woke up recompleted. His former self whispering in his ear to his Nobody self. A consequence of being split apart, he assumed.

 _/I suppose you’re right,/_ came Lea's response. _/I mean, look at you./_

 _Yes,_ Axel mused. _Look at me._

_/We don’t know if what happened with us is normal, though, what with your weird little half heart./_

_And winning personality._

_/And that’s not really what you meant anyway./_

Axel thought about yellow eyes and pointed ears and a cross-shaped scar.

_No._

The image in his head must have been a strong one.

_/Ugh, that geezer’s icky mark. You know, I really wish you’d make them call us Lea, now we know what that x business was really all about./_

_I did try!_ Axel thought, exasperated.

_/But you never had much that belonged to you, did you?/_

_As if I even really owned my name._

_/Don’t lie to me. Haha, not that you can./_

_It’s not that,_ Axel thought. _It’s more like._

_/That’s how he’d remember you./_

They were silent a minute, drifting uneasily through a memory.

_/Why am I even getting on your case. You know, this is my fault. When Isa lost his heart, I should have.../_

_You trying to say you’re sorry I was born? Have a heart, man. Heh. Anyway, whose fault it is doesn't matter. We can set things right, both of us. With Isa and Roxas--_

"Oh, er, hi Axel." He turned to find Riku standing behind him in the doorway. "Ah, Lea, I mean?"

It seemed like his presence had caught Riku off guard, leaving him wavering close to the door, as if deciding whether or not to lean on it or actually join him.

Axel smirked, but faced the horizon again. “Hi.”

Axel relished the awkward silence thickening between them.

“Um--” Riku began.

"So, you got your friend back." Axel smoothed a corner of the envelope. "Must be nice."

Riku sat down next to him. "If it weren't for you saving us both."

"Heh. So now I get to be the hero. Never quite thought I'd play _that_ role."

_/Nah. Breaking into castles was more our thing./_

_Shut up, I'm trying to be insightful._

_/Good luck./_

_Ha ha. Fuck you._

"Can I ask you something?" Riku said.

"Shoot."

"Back at Castle Oblivion. You let Naminé and me leave the castle with Sora."

"What of it?"

_/He's asking you why, idiot./_

"You were still with the Organization then. So, why'd you do it?"

Axel took a deep breath and released it slowly. He stared up at the faint pinpricks of stars above him.

"I knew," he cleared his throat, "I knew that..."

"Roxas," Riku said.

"Yeah...."

Riku stayed silent, but Axel could feel him watching from the corner of his eye.

“Well. I was always looking out for number one, that’s all.”

“Number one, huh,” said Riku.

Axel's hands tightened on the envelope.

Riku shifted. “Do you ever think about what it would have been like if it had been the other way around?”

The wind up there was fucking freezing.

“Yeah,” he managed, throat dry.

Axel thought about how there was a time he would have murdered this boy on the spot. When he would have burned down everything he stood for. Because only one of them could have saved their best friend. One or the other.

There had been a time when he would have murdered Sora, taken his Nobody by the hand, run for the sunset and never looked back.

“Me too,” said Riku, quietly. “I know Sora does. And I know that he will do everything he can to set things right.”

“I guess that’s why it had to be you.”

Riku’s gaze was piercing. “It didn’t  _have_ to be anybody. There’s no such thing as destiny, just a time travelling bald asshole with too many clones.”

Suddenly Axel was laughing so hard he was almost crying. Riku gave him a weird look. “It’s not that funny.”

“Sorry, sorry. Just. You’re right. Guess I’ve spent all this time thinking it was the universe I was fighting. But it’s just some dude. And he isn’t even hot.”

Riku choked and stood up. “I’m leaving now.”

He stared off into the sunset, smile fading. “Well. I guess what I mean is, it’s better it was you, then.”

_/What did I say about lying?/_

Riku hesitated at the doorway. “Um.” He turned to look at him. Despite the shadows in his eyes and calluses on his hands, there was still a lot of gangly awkward teenager to Riku. “Don’t sell yourself short, Lea. You’re a good guy.”

Axel snorted, the sentiment echoing in his head.

“I’m serious. I. We... Both of us have been given a second chance.” Axel stilled. "So yeah. Just, yeah.”

 _/Kids these days,/_ Lea laughed.

_You’ve been dead for ten years, what the hell do you know about kids these days._

“Thank you for imparting such wisdom, Master Riku,” he said with a mock bow. Riku flushed bright red and absconded.

Axel looked out at the sunset again.

It still hurt. It always hurt, hoping.

But.

_/But you’re on the right side, this time. All eggs in the one basket and full steam ahead. You have reason to hope./_

_Yeah._

**Author's Note:**

> [AR](http://avale-reves.tumblr.com/) and I both wrote drabbles for the same prompt back in 2012, which I forget now but I am 98% sure it involved nerding out over the reveals in KH3D and me plagarising his work. [Please read his story!](http://avale-reves.tumblr.com/post/45652727083/consolation-prize)
> 
> Things I can remember wanting to address:  
> \- Axel and Riku getting a scene similar to the Sora and Roxas one because Axel and Riku parallels hurt me  
> \- one last hurrah for my killed headcanons about how Nobodies were always born as separate people from their Others  
> \- to work out my dissatisfaction regarding Axel's case specifically, with all the 'Axel is growing a heart!' hints throughout the series, and then Xemnas even saying _"...A number of us unquestionably showed signs of a burgeoning replacement. Once born, the heart can also be nurtured. (...) One can banish the heart from the body, but the body will try to replace it the first chance it gets, for as many times as it takes."_ in KH3D... Well, what happened to that burgeoning 'Axel' heart?? I guess we'll have to assume it got absorbed by the old 'Lea' heart, but I like the idea of Axel having a heart that Sora and Roxas gave him...  
>  \- to show what Axel did with winner stick from in the envelope from the end of Days as seen in [one of the official short stories novels](https://khenglish.wordpress.com/index/kingdom-hearts-2-short-stories-vol-2-axel-seven-days/episode-6-axel-seven-days/).
> 
> I think it's off my chest now...


End file.
